This forever please

weeping willows won't you wallow louder

Hold your breath and count to ten fall apart then start again
this keeps playing in my head on repeat just like when Xiaver died
with the organ tone repeating it's self, but worse.
I have no place here
and I'm excisting merely by air.
waiting for these seconds to produce something wonderful
all by themselfs.
My motivation is like being drowned in a pool of rocks
i'm just stuck here
....waiting.

How do you delete everything all at once
without deleting a thing
erase these endless seconds
refresh a mind
kill a thought, eat a windmill
I don't belong here or there
I'll walk on the sidewalk
and my body will drift to the road
I feel like vomiting horrible colors
horrible words horrible thoughts horrible feelings
I'll sleep until it's good again

So tired of these
years
months
days
hours
minutes
seconds
they
all
seem
to
melt into each other

can we run away? Hide and become nothing more than the grass in the ground.
just you and me together
kissing the cracks between the grass in the ground
we can lye here forever