Leaves and dirty wool

Can we camp out where noone else knows, forever

Hide and become nothing more then the grass in the ground?

Danceing with the figments of our imaginations

just you and me together.

kissing the spaces between the cracks of seperation, I feel so numb inside.

Trying to find beauty in this endless black hole

I want to walk down a street and admire all the beauty not the defects

I don't want to excist here, I just want to disappear.

.

.

If you believe in something long enough then it almost becomes real.

I feel trapped inside of an imaginary life time with only myself and the creatures that I make up and paint inside of my head.

I tried to work a normal job but I felt so out of it, like fainting or collapsing just so i didn't have to speak to people.

I quit life, fuck society & realism.

I want to hide inside of a box and only see the people I imagine and just write journals

and paint pictures of them forever.

Invisibility cloak

My body is decaying & sinking like quick sand, I can barely even feed myself anymore.

I'm becomeing an illusive thought, nothing more.

All of these emotions are eating my insides

I don't want to die, I do want to die.

Why can't there be a footpath

some sort of thought process

to stop me from dissappearing so quickly.

how long until distance becomes a choice?

I post my thoughts and feelings and secrets here more than I should, so I'm going to stop for a bit,

and hand write my secrets and write people stories and send them via little letters in their mail boxes.

I can't watch T.V anymore without feeling lonely or sad, it hurts my brain and my heart.

My anxiety is biteing me on the ass again, and my ever so annoying jitters are back, and I'm nervous all the time.

But i'm fighting it and hideing away until I'm better, it's hard and I can feel myself crumbleing.

I'm off all of my pills almost and I can slowly feel myself dissapearing and reappearing in diffrent ways.

I want to create a space ship and fly us away and meet the monsters that created us, and feel my feet sinking into the moon rather than these grass stained socks.

x

Distance in a thought, in a feeling.

I'll draw us together by the firework & friction in our fingers

Falling in and out of thoughts and shivers and suffocateing them with blanket forts.

I want endless seconds with you.