I've felt the weight of this depression lying full length across my body for far to long.

"Get better, feel better, think real thoughts, get involved in reality, speak to people more, stop living inside your own head"

We are all sick beyond repair, but this is real. She is slowly dieing and I'm just sitting here watching her disappear in front of me, getting sicker and sicker as the days go by.
She can barely breathe and it's clenching at my stomach like you wouldn't believe. I want to make her better, I want to see her live a normal childhood but I'm not watching her grow or get well, I'm watching her decay and fade away. I spend my nights waiting for the illusive phone call to tell me that her pain has finally ended, and every time I hear that phone ring, my whole body freezes and my world stops.

My life is strange and is filled with a sadness that I will never understand. I still have the same feelings as when I was 11. disconnected from reality, alone, unable to connect with people, numbing myself with sleep, then lack of sleep for days, nightmares, craving attention, craving to be alone, then the lonely feeling again. My mind is a giant cluster of every thought that I refuse to think.

heartache

insomnia is eating me alive

my thoughts are electric shocks that keep me awake at night

we must do this until we crumble and fall.
we must do this until we crumble and fall.
we must do this until we crumble and fall.
we must do this until we crumble and fall.
we must do this until we crumble and fall.
we must do this until we crumble and fall.
we must do this until we crumble and fall.
we must do this until we crumble and fall.
we must do this until we crumble and fall.
we must do this until we crumble and fall.
we must do this until we crumble and fall.
we must do this until we crumble and fall.
we must do this until we crumble and fall.
we must do this until we crumble and fall.
we must do this until we crumble and fall.
we must do this until we crumble and fall.
we must do this until we crumble and fall.
we must do this until we crumble and fall.
we must do this until we crumble and fall.
we must do this until we crumble and fall.
we must do this until we crumble and fall.

The weight of you crashing on the bed is like an explosion of paper cranes crumbleing in my head