Sunday, December 13, 2009

we grew old in this bed, we lye here in a pure sadness holding hands and whispering secrets in to each others ears
ones that haven't been told before

monitoring the moments, the silence

Thursday, December 3, 2009

makenosense makesense
These pills make you feel absolutely numb, so fragile and still.
Some times i can't even remember if i've taken a breath in the last hour
it's good though, to feel nothing at all, i'm like a space cadet
or a special kind of human with super powers
who can turn on and off at anytime that it pleases.

it covers most of the pain up like a band aid on a bloody knee.
you can walk down a street and feel nothing at all
drag your fingers accross the bricks on the walls and avoid getting hurt
the people who pass you will always walk in slow motion
like a movie that's meant to make you feel spaced out or something.
I guess watching those beatings on your mother when your a child gives you some sort of brain damage that finds a spot in your head and just hides there until you feel sad enough to think about it all again
it feels like a bomb has just reached it's peek and in that split second you know everthing is over for the next two hours and everyone you speak will hurt more than the last.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

feeling fragile like porcelain waiting for the gloom to fade, waiting to tumble into another world a little less dull, waiting to escape this city, waiting for the moon to drag me through the stars and galaxys, waiting for the floor boards to crack, waiting for the sadness to eat itself up, waiting for these walls to fall apart, waiting for the mess to clean itself, waiting ..waiting, waiting. awaiting these endless seconds, waiting for him to blow holes in my brain until i cannot think another thought.

Friday, November 27, 2009

staring at the speck's of dust that come out of the projector at the cinema, being more fascinated at that then what's on the big screen, i'll sit for two hours thinking up story's about other galaxy's

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

You can never holiday because your always stuck with yourself
and crawling out of this mood is a fucking battle field
you want to explode every time you speak
every word you say & every thought you think
is from a fairytale book which has been perfectly written
inside your head
and pretending is the only thing your good at

secrets are forever

Sunday, October 25, 2009

This forever please

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

weeping willows won't you wallow louder

Hold your breath and count to ten fall apart then start again
this keeps playing in my head on repeat just like when Xiaver died
with the organ tone repeating it's self, but worse.
I have no place here
and I'm excisting merely by air.
waiting for these seconds to produce something wonderful
all by themselfs.
My motivation is like being drowned in a pool of rocks
i'm just stuck here

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

How do you delete everything all at once
without deleting a thing
erase these endless seconds
refresh a mind
kill a thought, eat a windmill
I don't belong here or there
I'll walk on the sidewalk
and my body will drift to the road
I feel like vomiting horrible colors
horrible words horrible thoughts horrible feelings
I'll sleep until it's good again

Friday, October 2, 2009

So tired of these
melt into each other

can we run away? Hide and become nothing more than the grass in the ground.
just you and me together
kissing the cracks between the grass in the ground
we can lye here forever

Friday, September 25, 2009

liquid hands lacey rib cages & a hyper coloured dress, all the figments are fragmented

Monday, September 7, 2009

Big gun shots from Polar bears

Day dreaming about white horses with brilliant white teeth
crystal clear waters, with glitter underneath
I've been thinking up tales of the big blue above,
with fairy floss colored rain clouds
and secret butterfly love.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

I feel so small in this gigantic cluster of stars
like a single grain of sand, mirrored by it's own image
Please do something outragous, out of the ordanairy, fantastic
to make me smile, to get me excited, to make this fractured earth feel okay to be excisting in.
I've been walking through all the cities hoping to find something to make me smile, but everything is so stale,
stale air I am breathing in, no tastes in my mouth, everything smells of cigerettes and I have no storys to tell.
I'm okay when I can speak, but it feels like my mouth has been super glued for the past month

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Listening to Bob Dylan in pa pa's red jag
smoking cigars like we're all fancy and shit

he gave me his viynl from his old band The Models
sex, drugs and rock'n'roll
heroin ruins your life
woo hoo

spending time with my dad is the most blissful part of my life

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Tiny Heart Shaped Infinite Creature

Someone please shoot me in the head, thank you.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

fancy tiny cot's

I ran out of reasons for careing about anything
took acid and crawled into a bed where shadows were having roush sex on the walls.
catching fragments from my brains it's frozen like icelands coldest winter and I'm so trapped here like glue to a broken chair, I feel like I can't hide from anything anymore.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

I don't care, let's hide.

Sometimes the absense is persistent

I like wolf's because their so tough with their big teeth, I wish I was scary.
I'm sick of full sentances, I think I give up on writeing books, my mind is so mild and i can only focus on something for a short time, I wish I could stay focused
replace my mind?
I'm scared for the future
scared I won't be able to funtion without him.
I feel like coughing up all my emotions into a big hair ball of hatred sometimes.

I used to write about pressing my fingers on wet window cills and feeling alone
in ways I wish I still could, but whatevz you know

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Glassy Glittered High Heels

I walked down the street with my over-sized high heeled bow tied shoes and false footsteps
I lied to the direction in which I was walking in
I said we'll be there soon if only you keep walking your footsteps will lead you to places where there are galaxy's so close to your eyes that they burn holes through your hollow brain so you piss rainbow vomit for weeks.
I kept walking in search of it peaking down abandoned alley ways and wondering where this place of magical being was.

My feet grew tired and and were pissing out blood from my shoes being to gigantic so I tied the bow around my wrists and they dragged on the ground like I was a prisioner
I left a trail of glitter behind from where my shoes had dragged, it made me smile and gave me hope.

I stopped at a corner store which evidently ended up being a drug infused fairy palace, I asked if I was close to this mysterious world of wonderous things
and they told me to follow my imagination and it will guide me through all of the horrible situations and misfortunes reality will drown me in.

They sold bikes here, and my feet were terribly sore from my journey so I pulled out my last pennys and bought a dull green beamer, it was the most beautiful bike i'd ever seen and I knew we'd adventure through many lands together
I called her Leeny, because when I rode she would always venture to one side of the road