I feel so small in this gigantic cluster of stars

like a single grain of sand, mirrored by it's own image

Please do something outragous, out of the ordanairy, fantastic

to make me smile, to get me excited, to make this fractured earth feel okay to be excisting in.

I've been walking through all the cities hoping to find something to make me smile, but everything is so stale,

stale air I am breathing in, no tastes in my mouth, everything smells of cigerettes and I have no storys to tell.

I'm okay when I can speak, but it feels like my mouth has been super glued for the past month

Listening to Bob Dylan in pa pa's red jag

smoking cigars like we're all fancy and shit

he gave me his viynl from his old band The Models
sex, drugs and rock'n'roll
heroin ruins your life
woo hoo

spending time with my dad is the most blissful part of my life

Tiny Heart Shaped Infinite Creature

Someone please shoot me in the head, thank you.

fancy tiny cot's

I ran out of reasons for careing about anything
took acid and crawled into a bed where shadows were having roush sex on the walls.
catching fragments from my brains it's frozen like icelands coldest winter and I'm so trapped here like glue to a broken chair, I feel like I can't hide from anything anymore.

I don't care, let's hide.

Sometimes the absense is persistent

I like wolf's because their so tough with their big teeth, I wish I was scary.
I'm sick of full sentances, I think I give up on writeing books, my mind is so mild and i can only focus on something for a short time, I wish I could stay focused
replace my mind?
I'm scared for the future
scared I won't be able to funtion without him.
I feel like coughing up all my emotions into a big hair ball of hatred sometimes.

I used to write about pressing my fingers on wet window cills and feeling alone
in ways I wish I still could, but whatevz you know

Glassy Glittered High Heels

I walked down the street with my over-sized high heeled bow tied shoes and false footsteps
I lied to the direction in which I was walking in
I said we'll be there soon if only you keep walking your footsteps will lead you to places where there are galaxy's so close to your eyes that they burn holes through your hollow brain so you piss rainbow vomit for weeks.
I kept walking in search of it peaking down abandoned alley ways and wondering where this place of magical being was.

My feet grew tired and and were pissing out blood from my shoes being to gigantic so I tied the bow around my wrists and they dragged on the ground like I was a prisioner
I left a trail of glitter behind from where my shoes had dragged, it made me smile and gave me hope.

I stopped at a corner store which evidently ended up being a drug infused fairy palace, I asked if I was close to this mysterious world of wonderous things
and they told me to follow my imagination and it will guide me through all of the horrible situations and misfortunes reality will drown me in.

They sold bikes here, and my feet were terribly sore from my journey so I pulled out my last pennys and bought a dull green beamer, it was the most beautiful bike i'd ever seen and I knew we'd adventure through many lands together
I called her Leeny, because when I rode she would always venture to one side of the road